Ego or pride

When a housewife is not earning it seems as if she is not working which is totally wrong she is doing work 7 days a week. she just do not get a big pay check to prove it. Limiting your needs and keeping life simple works unless she wants to study in an expensive institution. That part moves like a cyclone in her happily married life when the husband says "I have payed for your fee a money wasted."

The sorrow a girl feels with this statement is enormous 

• firstly because the reason for not taking classes and losing that fee is the complicated pregnancy faced due to his baby.
• Secondly if her husband said a thing like that it means studies do not reflect in her mannerism ....which hurts big time
• thirdly because the pride of a woman says I WILL PAY YOU BACK EACH PENNY but the mind frustrates on HOW?

The options for earning at home are so few and less lubricant. Good internet jobs require time and attention. If she'll start giving attention to anything else other than the baby the husband will shout again that YOU DO NOT TAKE CARE OF THE BABY WHAT KIND OF MOTHER YOU ARE

and that statement will hurt even more.

The plan she can employ is slow but steady just like old school days when as child she used to save up her Pocket money and lunch money to buy something she needs. in the same way she should do that again without telling her husband she can cut her trip to parlour her desire for a pedicure, the skin products she wanted to use and the new dress she wanted can definitely wait what won't and shouldn't wait is this opportunity to prove to her husband that My STUDIES ARE NOT A WASTE AND THEY TELL ME WHAT YOUR MONEY CANNOT TEACH YOU AND THAT IS sacrifice.

Hensel and Grettel..........

It is always refreshing to go out with your husband and relax for a moment. even if it is going to usual restaurant and ordering the regular it has its plus points. 45 minutes spent around steaming bowl of hot and sour soup may lead to a a tiny detail wife was unable to discover in three years of marriage. In my case it was the story of Hensel and Grettel my husband had not heard it before. I told him and unlike my usual talk of baby and chores he found it interesting or at-least he heard it. 
My 9 month old baby wrapped in the napkin trying to sleep in my lap kept objecting this time away from home but that's good as she is developing an opinion of her own and I appreciate free will.
The only dark aspect was when I touch the wrist of my baby to comfort her and felt like the witch in story who used to grab Hensel's wrist to check if he is chubby enough to eat and to both of our disappointment the wrist was thin as a stick.   

Slow and steady brings the pain.......

Having a eight month old baby girl is real challenging. A woman requires extra stamina, extra work and extra patience to deal with it. However having a eight month old baby girl who is weak and almost 3 months behind in growth is a job even harder.

The reason is that a mother has to defend her choices and her duties. While visiting a relative they are all full of concern and they shower their wisdom through advise about how to feed your child what extra measures you can take. People in Pakistan esp. ladies have one big objective “Mashwara Muft hai” which means Advice are free and in abundance.

I massage my baby twice a day, she does not cry for milk so I put an alarm on my cell, she hates taking food so I have to sing constantly to her while feeding her But telling all those things would be vain because if one is doing all that the result should be visible. It is visible she is slow and steady but slow is not good for audience and relative as others need a reason to love the child they need to see health growth or something else to find affection to a child but a mother does not need such things and think twice while criticizing a child’s health as the criticism is taken personal by the mother.

HOW TO DEAl:

• ·         God is witness to everything and a child is His creation not mother’s
• · When you be quite and use all the anger in a powerful prayer the improvement gets better
• ·         When your mind is quite and anger is down recall all the advices there might be any which can be worthwhile
• ·         Remember do not blame yourself and keep giving your 100 percent attention wrapped in a big smile
• ·         A mother may not realize but she is everything for a 8 month old if her life revolves around the baby for the baby she is life  

From Chasing Dreamz to Changing Diappers.......

It is interesting how evolution can change a girl’s life in five years. Five years back a enthusiastic patriotic student with goals to know the world and to be known to the world through her writings and opinion can totally loose herself in motherhood and household duties. The goals of life change as do the priorities:

Before marriage there was a world to explore, places to visit, institutions that she wanted to fix and clean

After marriage there is a home to explore, relatives to visit, cupboards that need fixing and cleaning

Before: need a break bunk any class but make sure the teacher do not find out

After: need a break Watch “Melissa and Joey” or how I met your mother while supervising maid doing chores but make sure Mother In Law don’t find out

Before: Motherhood seemed like comfy blanket that can be hugged when needed but no one certainly wants it to wrap it around neck 24/7

After: Motherhood is like holding string of a very delicate puppet you have to make it move eat bath and hands are caught up in those strings 24/7

It’s not fait to say that life after marriage is not happy at all but the key to happiness is Making your own decisions and selecting your preferences. The same chores can be fun and interesting if you have made your own decision to do. If someone has imposed them on you then your responsibilities become your duties and they lose all the excitement.

For those ladies who do not have the complete decision making authority and they have to put aside their dreams and hobbies to bigger responsibilities of childcare the advise is don’t leave yourself. Give a particular amount of time to any creative activity that gives you satisfaction and sense of achievement. It can be anything, cooking, designing, painting, playing, decorating your home, writing a book or creating a BLOG the way I did. And remember if you had all that talent five years back you still got it you just needs to scrape the rust and dust hiding it.